i just talked to elgin on the phone.
despite the whinings about my life, i realized that there are still a lot of things that i should be happy about... like elgin for example. i forget, sometimes, that i miss him so much. he's such a great friend and i don't think he realizes that about himself. it's really amazing how he turns up just when i need someone the most. just like the knight in shining armor i dreamed him to be back then when i still thought of him as a crush. whatever form i do wish him to be, i'm just so glad that he's in my life. especially right now, right in this moment.
we talked about a lot of things. but i was worried with what he said about the "eya phenomenon". he has the same point of views as with lisa, kookie, joanna, aris, ria, marie and jaymie. i know it doesn't sound that alarming(as it seems that i'm the only one who didn't see their point) but for me, it was a bit of a shock. in a way, i feel betrayed because they didn't tell me this sooner. all along i always thought i was the bad guy. it turns out, it was vice versa. but all of this is over. i'm really glad it is. the issue only rises up when somebody asks about it and it's going to be like that. that chapter of my life is over.
i realized, too, that i've been so whiny when there really is no reason to be. i thought up of a way to humble myself whenever i feel like complaining. i figured that i'd just say, "it beats being in cambodia" whenever i feel whiny again. i saw this article about the khmer rouge and i realized that i have been such a selfish, ignorant, spoiled brat. i have so many things to be happy about. complaining about things like the sorority wasn't just worth the seconds of my life.
now, i wish this reformed me would last... even for just a month. so let's just find out until i post again. wish me luck.