What Finding Nemo Character are You?
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i've read ria's blog and i've seen the movie too. i don't like being bruce though :p

sometimes i wish i could keep my mouth shut...

...but in a way, i think it's good that people know how i feel about things.

after a week, i don't feel sad about the mixer anymore. i think i just forgot about it. i found out that if i don't think too much about it, it goes away. so that's what i do. not think about it. i'm sorry if i had offended some of you. i was just so angry at that moment. i should've stopped myself before saying anything foolish. again, i'm sorry mommy.

enough about that. this is the last time i'll write about that damn mixer. i promise.

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i'm missing my highschool friends now. i'm really happy that even after college, we still are the best of friends. we still find things to talk about and, lo and behold, even things to fight about. i wish i could see them more often. i'm really lucky to find three true friends in one barkada. all three of them i love so much and in not one of them do i find anything irritating. i figured, that everytime that i feel so down, i should think about these three people who would never think less of me when i do so with myself. i owe a lot to them. for making me the person i am today... and albeit, this is not another famas award speech okay? ;)

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another thing on my mind... i just love psychiatry! i love it more than pulmo now. maybe, if i can, i could try to specialize in neuro-psych. i know i might not have the brains to achieve this but, what the heck, there's nothing wrong in trying to be one. i always did say that my cousin, ate bakke(who's a 1st year resident in psychiatry at wayne state hospital in michigan), was one of my role models. however, if i end up failing my exams this friday, then i guess i'm not really fit to be a psychiatrist. so i better start studying now...

i just talked to elgin on the phone.

despite the whinings about my life, i realized that there are still a lot of things that i should be happy about... like elgin for example. i forget, sometimes, that i miss him so much. he's such a great friend and i don't think he realizes that about himself. it's really amazing how he turns up just when i need someone the most. just like the knight in shining armor i dreamed him to be back then when i still thought of him as a crush. whatever form i do wish him to be, i'm just so glad that he's in my life. especially right now, right in this moment.

we talked about a lot of things. but i was worried with what he said about the "eya phenomenon". he has the same point of views as with lisa, kookie, joanna, aris, ria, marie and jaymie. i know it doesn't sound that alarming(as it seems that i'm the only one who didn't see their point) but for me, it was a bit of a shock. in a way, i feel betrayed because they didn't tell me this sooner. all along i always thought i was the bad guy. it turns out, it was vice versa. but all of this is over. i'm really glad it is. the issue only rises up when somebody asks about it and it's going to be like that. that chapter of my life is over.

i realized, too, that i've been so whiny when there really is no reason to be. i thought up of a way to humble myself whenever i feel like complaining. i figured that i'd just say, "it beats being in cambodia" whenever i feel whiny again. i saw this article about the khmer rouge and i realized that i have been such a selfish, ignorant, spoiled brat. i have so many things to be happy about. complaining about things like the sorority wasn't just worth the seconds of my life.

now, i wish this reformed me would last... even for just a month. so let's just find out until i post again. wish me luck.